How Do I Know the Right Time to Start Therapy?
Are things bad ‘enough’ to start therapy?
Is the therapist going to think I’m weak because I just can’t handle my life?
Should I just figure things out myself?
Therapy didn’t work for my friend, how do I know it would be different for me?
What if it’s a waste of time and money?
These and many other questions seem to plague people who are thinking about therapy, or are on the fence about whether it’s worth it, whether they should start. While I am obviously biased here, I have some thoughts on questions like these.
I truly believe that most people would benefit from some therapy or counselling. Now, does every person need years of intensive treatment? Of course not. Would everyone benefit from the same type of therapy? Of course not. However, the reason that I think that most people would benefit from some type of mental health support like therapy or counselling is that everyone has…something. There is an old adage that everyone is fighting a battle you know nothing about. There are arguably millions of fully functional adults in this world who live their lives, who go to work, who go to school, who are retired, who have families and friends and hobbies and interests and pets and dreams and plans. These people appear, on the surface, for the most part, “fine”. Objectively, they’re fine. Under the surface however, life has a habit of creating circumstances that are difficult to cope with. There are so many fully functioning people who also have depression, anxiety, a dying pet, an aging parent, a struggling child, a relationship conflict, a transition coming up, financial stress, fertility concerns, health issues, existential dread, you name it, the list goes on and on.
Unfortunately, life can be incredibly difficult. Fortunately, it can also be wonderful. In my opinion, therapy is helpful because it can help you cope and get through the difficult times and it can help you be better able to create, recognize and truly appreciate the wonderful times. For this reason, I believe that there is never a bad time to start therapy, and there is no threshold that you need to pass to be ‘deserving’ of support. Everyone is different and one person’s minor annoyance is another person’s worst day, and that is okay. There is no need to suffer on your own if there is an option for help.
There is no reason to let things become truly unbearable before you reach out for support.
As far as having concerns about therapy not working for you because it didn’t work for someone who know, or worrying that therapy would be a waste of time and/or money, you’re right, there is no way to know before you try. From my biased position, therapy is helpful and would benefit the vast majority of people in some way. But honestly, just as you wouldn’t want to become friends with every person you meet, you’re also not going to have a good fit with every therapist out there. Some personalities just don’t mesh, sometimes you just don’t feel safe with the person, sometimes you’re not ready to share enough to make real change. Whatever the reason, it is a bit of gamble. There is a chance that the first or second or third therapist you meet won’t be helpful, and there is a chance that you might spend some time and money that doesn’t pay off. But when we look at the alternative, isn’t your mental health important enough to take those odds?
If you’re ready to try, book a free 15-minute consultation and let’s have a chat:
